Budgeting is hard, smoking is easy

My goal this year is to become self sufficient. I had an excuse while I was in school, but now I look like just another white bitch mooching off her parent's money (which I still am, no shame). But since college, it’s like my parents have switched roles. My mother went from the caring one to threatening to cancel my credit card every time I max it out at two and a half grand. My father went from the one who always told me ‘no’ to the ever-supporting father figure — “we just want you to be happy” he says to me now. That was after I took him to therapy because we didn’t know how to communicate. Or maybe it was because one time in a fit of rage I screamed that he was the reason I wanted to kill myself. Middle school is a rough time for everyone though. 

I look to the mountains for advice. I’m committed to never working a conventional 9-5 job. I’m committed to being honest — blunt, as most call it. Which is fine because I love blunts. Right now I’m supposed to be writing a story for Westword magazine about a mobile cannabis bus company called Loopr. I rode on the bus on 420, met the owner and smoked about 15 joints and 4 blunts. Met people from Chicago, Dallas, Alabama and Atlanta. All in Denver for the weed-tourism. Canna-tourism. Dankism, dopism, hehe.

I spent about $126 on cannabis that day, which was more than necessary. Especially when I have a $1,000 budget set for the month. But I ran out this month, on 4/21, a Saturday, when the banks are closed and my sister can’t save me this time. Luckily, I surround myself with amazing friends who will spot me the money while I try and actually learn how to budget my own money. In an effort to attain some more cash flow aside from my stipend, I started driving Domino's pizza delivery. When people ask me why, I tell them it was that or stripping, which I still haven't ruled out (read my Amsterdam sex show piece). It's ideal, though — I made $67 in cash tips last night. That's about two week's worth of weed money, which makes me happier than any real job would.